I find it very hard to believe. I look down at my left hand several times a day as a reminder that this is true.
It hasn’t fully sunk in yet. It really, really hasn’t.
I think it’s because I was the kind of girl who rolled her eyes at the idea of weddings, poufy dresses and cheesy walks down isles with bridesmaids in awkward matching frocks, wedding vows, embarrassing speeches, and the dancing to ABBA after the banquet.
I was a tom boy for so much of my life, and so when my girlfriends would start dreaming starry-eyed about their ‘fairy-tale’ weddings with Prince charming, I’d look for any excuse to get as far away as possible.
My parents raised me to believe that the most important thing in a relationship is commitment and to truly love one another. That is all that matters, and you only have to go through the wedding stuff if you want to.
Meeting Sam changed my life. He brought a calmness, a peacefulness into my life and the feeling of being safe. He is just so easy to be around, and easy to love. He is a solid rock, my anchor, and I am the balloon floating around this way and that into the creative dream world of Spirit, like a kite exploring the sky, with the wind propelling it onwards and forwards, and the security of knowing I can’t get lost, because I can be reeled in, back down to Earth. Grounded.
I do worry less with Sam in my life, and I relax more too. Sam has brought a stability to my previously chaotic and somewhat nomadic life style. He has turned just another big city into a welcoming home and a place of belonging. This has allowed me more time and energy to be creative, to wonder in the world of Spirit, to get writing again, and to express myself and all the magic.
And I love him. Deeply.
Sam and I have been committed to each other pretty much since the beginning of our relationship. We gelled together liked a multi-coloured Colgate toothpaste. He’s the blue colour, I’m white, two colours in a tube, squeezed out in perfect colourful harmony, with a touch of peppermint from my tea drawer for added flavour. I believe we have truly loved each other since the beginning too. It just happened that way. We just knew. We just fell in love. We just committed. Everything just fell into place. Seemingly overnight, I had what my parents have, no cheesiness necessary. This has been enough for me.
It was Sam’s idea to get married. His family sticks to tradition slightly more than mine. I believe my first reaction was to shudder at the thought, memories of girls squealing over poufey white dresses and ugly bright bridesmaids frocks rushing back to haunt me. And then my darling said “but lets cut out all the tackiness, and make it something really fun up in the hills where we just love to be, with beautiful music, lots of dancing, our family and closest friends” he won my heart onto the idea after that.
Perhaps it may never fully sink in that this is actually happening to me, not even when I find myself in a pretty white (non-frilly) dress, cracking jokes with my father as we take a little walk, seeing my best friend again who lives in Hong Kong, playing some fun little games, dancing to our beautiful spiritual and world music with dancing friends like many an evening past, all while looking up at the tall eucalyptus and gum trees of the ferny Dandenongs, listening to the cockatoos, rosellas, kookaburras and magpies, and feeling completely and utterly happy.
This post was written in conjunction with Show My Face – 6 Word Saturdays and Carry on Tuesday # 129, the theme being “Love One Another”. Click on the blue linkys above to read other people’s entries.